I tried doing this one when I got home from work tonight, but it didn't go well. It's 100% my fault too. I only got 2 hours of sleep last night and was up since 4:45am and got home from work at 7:30pm, so I am feeling pretty exhausted. I'm at that point where I feel like I'm sleep walking my way through the day. I stayed up late because I went to the movies with my son and we watched a late show of a new movie and we didn't get home until almost 2:00am. The movie was really good, but I'm paying for it today.
The Gateway Tape for today wasn't too bad. It wasn't 100% what I remembered it to be. You basically get to Focus 10, and then you go into your box and pull out something that causes fear. You then analyze what the fear is, what emotions it made you feel, and what in your life caused you to feel that way. This process is done 3 times. You also visualize putting these things in a bubble and sending them away from you.
I thought I remembered that after that process, you picked something that caused joy... but that's not the case. I guess I didn't remember it correctly.
I had a hard time tonight because I was so tired I couldn't give the exercise my full attention. I could think of a few fears, but not enough to really dive into them. Then eventually my fear was fucking up the exercise.
My goal tomorrow is to revisit this exercise when I get home from work. I don't want to rush this process of going through these tapes, so I'm not going to. The first few this week were easier only because I've done them quite a few times already and have practice with them. Almost everything from this point on, with the exception of the tape that deals with sleep, is new territory.
Hopefully tomorrow will be more successful, and if it isn't I'll just do it again the next day.
...until next time.
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