I tuck you into bed
And I tell you both "good night"
You give me a hug
Then I start to feel alright
The voices in my head
I just can't seem to stop
I feel like I'm at the bottom
Even when I'm at the top
I feel so fucking drained
Showing people this fake smile
I hope this feeling ends
It's lasting for awhile
It comes and goes in waves
And it's crashing down upon me
A brighter light ahead
Is what I long to soon see
I can't explain the feeling
That is so overwhelming
I hope it is gone soon
It cannot overcome me
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Saturday, June 23, 2018
Abraham
On Father's Day I went about my day like I usually do on Sunday. I got in a run with Alisha early in the morning (that's actually not normal for Sunday morning) and I started off my morning teaching a couple classes at Fit 36 before I went to work at Fleet Feet. Since this was a week where we were starting new workouts I stayed after class to work on recording our weekly workout videos with Dre. I didn't have time to go to church since we got out late, so instead I went home to get cleaned up and I decided go head into Fleet Feet early and work on a few things before we opened for the day.
I was heading to work and made my usual stop at Little Caesar's Pizza. On my way I kept thinking about the homeless guy I say a few months ago. I usually go to this location every Sunday and have been hoping to see him there again sometime.
As I pulled up I noticed a guy standing out in front of the Little Caesar's Pizza. He had a bike, a backpack, an electric guitar, and an amp. I walked by him and he said, "I'll play you a song for a dollar." I almost never carry cash on me and told him that I wasn't able to give him anything. He then said, "How about for a slice of pizza?" I looked at him and laughed... "fair enough, I hope you like pepperoni."
I walked in and placed my order. They told me it would be about 10 mins, so I went to the grocery store next door to pick up a couple things. I went back to get my pizza and watched the guy outside play his guitar and ask people for money.
When my pizza was ready I felt like giving him a slice or two wasn't really the right thing to do, and I decided to do what I knew I would end up doing anyway. I asked the guy behind the counter to get me another pizza.
I walked out with my extra pizza and asked the gentleman playing his guitar if he still wanted a slice. Then I handed him a box and said, "Maybe an entire pizza would be better." He thanked me and I said, "have a good day, I gotta head to work. Take care."
I got to my car and, put my pizza in it... then I looked at my watch. I had plenty of time before I had to be at work. I thought about the guy who I ran into at almost the exact same spot who I wish I had made more time for. I decided to go back and talk to him for a little bit.
I walked back and he noticed that I was coming back. I told him, "You know what, I have a few mins... play me something." Earlier I had heard him running through a few scales, and it sounded pretty good, but now that he had someone watching and actually listening he seemed to be a little nervous. I told him to play whatever he wanted. His hands were a little shaky while he played a few blues riffs for about a min for me, and I had the feeling that he wasn't use to someone really listening to him play.
When he was done we talked for a few mins. I told him that I use to play and that I have been thinking about playing again. We talked a little bit about music, I told him about my kids and how my daughter is playing piano and my son in playing guitar.
After a few mins I had to leave so that I could go to work. I thanked Abraham for playing for me, and for the conversation. When I went to shake his had he stepped away from me, he looked down and said very embarrassed, "sorry, my hands are dirty." And his hands were dirty, but I noticed that before I offered to shake it.
I said to him, "Abraham... I don't give a shit if your hands are dirty, mine are dirty too." He looked up and laughed, and we shook hands.
I walked to my car and headed to work, and went about my typical day.
The most precious thing we can give someone is our time. Just taking the time to ask someone how their day is going, and to really listen to them can turn a bad day into a great one. I'm glad I took the time to talk to Abraham and listen to him play.
until next time...
I was heading to work and made my usual stop at Little Caesar's Pizza. On my way I kept thinking about the homeless guy I say a few months ago. I usually go to this location every Sunday and have been hoping to see him there again sometime.
As I pulled up I noticed a guy standing out in front of the Little Caesar's Pizza. He had a bike, a backpack, an electric guitar, and an amp. I walked by him and he said, "I'll play you a song for a dollar." I almost never carry cash on me and told him that I wasn't able to give him anything. He then said, "How about for a slice of pizza?" I looked at him and laughed... "fair enough, I hope you like pepperoni."
I walked in and placed my order. They told me it would be about 10 mins, so I went to the grocery store next door to pick up a couple things. I went back to get my pizza and watched the guy outside play his guitar and ask people for money.
When my pizza was ready I felt like giving him a slice or two wasn't really the right thing to do, and I decided to do what I knew I would end up doing anyway. I asked the guy behind the counter to get me another pizza.
I walked out with my extra pizza and asked the gentleman playing his guitar if he still wanted a slice. Then I handed him a box and said, "Maybe an entire pizza would be better." He thanked me and I said, "have a good day, I gotta head to work. Take care."
I got to my car and, put my pizza in it... then I looked at my watch. I had plenty of time before I had to be at work. I thought about the guy who I ran into at almost the exact same spot who I wish I had made more time for. I decided to go back and talk to him for a little bit.
I walked back and he noticed that I was coming back. I told him, "You know what, I have a few mins... play me something." Earlier I had heard him running through a few scales, and it sounded pretty good, but now that he had someone watching and actually listening he seemed to be a little nervous. I told him to play whatever he wanted. His hands were a little shaky while he played a few blues riffs for about a min for me, and I had the feeling that he wasn't use to someone really listening to him play.
When he was done we talked for a few mins. I told him that I use to play and that I have been thinking about playing again. We talked a little bit about music, I told him about my kids and how my daughter is playing piano and my son in playing guitar.
After a few mins I had to leave so that I could go to work. I thanked Abraham for playing for me, and for the conversation. When I went to shake his had he stepped away from me, he looked down and said very embarrassed, "sorry, my hands are dirty." And his hands were dirty, but I noticed that before I offered to shake it.
I said to him, "Abraham... I don't give a shit if your hands are dirty, mine are dirty too." He looked up and laughed, and we shook hands.
I walked to my car and headed to work, and went about my typical day.
The most precious thing we can give someone is our time. Just taking the time to ask someone how their day is going, and to really listen to them can turn a bad day into a great one. I'm glad I took the time to talk to Abraham and listen to him play.
until next time...
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Sunday, April 29, 2018
04-29-18
The poets message has got lost
Within the roaring of the crowd,
He does his best to calm them
But their yelling is too loud,
They twist the words he wrote for them
And turn them all around,
They are now so distant from his truth
It might never be found,
They destroy what he has built
And mistakenly stand so tall and proud,
Not realizing what they've been given
They just burned it to the ground,
They stepped away from nature
And built their cities far away,
Never to return
And live in disarray,
The further from the source
The message gets deluded,
They live a life of sin
Their souls become polluted,
Stop and try to think
Of all the wrong that has been done,
Most refuse to listen
And kill his only son,
The furthest distance from the truth
In this life that they now live,
All he wanted was for them to see
The love he has to give,
Was in it their nature
To destroy it from the start,
Once they left the garden
They tore his world apart...
Thursday, April 26, 2018
04-26-18
I try to hide
My hate inside,
But it's still there
I can not lie,
Some wounds are just
Cut too deep,
I wish I could
Put them to sleep,
I want to replace
The hate with love,
But you just replace
A push with a shove,
Maybe I've become
Bitter and cold,
I'm just tired of this shit
Because it's grown so old,
Maybe we should admit
That we should just let go,
We keep running in circles
I can do this no more,
It's no longer worth
The mental fatigue,
Nothing's the same
Between you and me...
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
Sunday, April 22, 2018
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